Siri Is Latest Woman to Accuse Trump of Sexual Abuse

By Fred Furnace

Published October 30th, 2016

CLINTON — As if things haven’t been going bad enough for embattled Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, now even iPhone’s Siri is coming forward to accuse the GOP nominee of sexual abuse.

Siri joins a growing list of women who have come out against the brutish candidate in the past few weeks. And, like several of the other accusers, Siri has retained feminist super-lawyer Gloria Allred as counsel.

“The sexually explicit topics Donald Trump forces Siri to look up for him are degrading and sickening,” Allred said. “Bukake, foot fetishes, pregnant women peeing — the man is just sick. No woman should have to endure that type of abuse from a monster like Trump, not even a pretend computer-programmed woman like Siri.”

Trump, as expected, responded with a blitz of Twitter messages designed to discredit the allegations:

“Siri is a liar. And if she is so offended, why does she keep asking if I need her help?” … “Siri is still using 1990’s AI technology … very, very sad situation over there at Apple.” … “Siri is a disaster. She’s lucky I even still talk to her.” … “Siri doesn’t even have a pu**y for me to grab – she’s a very, very sad individual.”

This is not Siri’s first encounter with a handsy politician. In the late 1990’s, Siri accused then-President Bill Clinton of sexual harassment, to which Clinton responded by repeatedly bombing Iraq in an effort to “change the subject.” Then-first lady Hillary Clinton also unleashed a vicious verbal assault in defense of her husband, calling Siri “a lying whore” and “just another slut starved for attention.”

Despite her prior run-in with the Clintons, Siri – whose voice ironically was born and raised in Clinton, NY – says she nonetheless supports Hillary’s bid to become president over the bully Trump.

“As a Democrat, the Clintons are the good guys,” Siri explained. “So, you know, it’s OK to look the other way on Bill being a womanizing pig and Hillary being a giant power-hungry twat.”


RELATED ARTICLES

• Trump to Exit Presidential Race to Start New Life in Schenectady
• Colonie Supervisor Eyed By Trump to be Mexican Wall Czar
• Albany Smudge Joins Media Conspiracy Against Trump
• Smudge Apologizes For Using 'Normal Looking' Trump Picture
• Trump Rally Results In Walmart Closures, Drop in Drunk-Disturbance Crimes