Rensselaer County Trump Backers Literally Drain 'Swamp' in Grafton
By Quack Davis
Published November 20th, 2016
Andy Madman and Floyd Sanka cruise Grafton Lake in their Swamp Fox.
GRAFTON — Three shitfaced townspeople were arrested Thursday and charged with trying to remove all the water from Grafton Lakes State Park to "drain the swamp" of political corruption.
Durkel Moffett, 63, Andy Maddman, 56, and Floyd Sanka, 58, were arrested by state parks officers and booked on charges of illegal trespassing, nuisance and cruelty to reptiles and amphibians, said Lt. Stan Hemp, a spokesman for the Parks Department.
"The subjects thought they could get to the root of corruption in politics if they 'drained the swamp' per the instructions of President-elect Trump," Hemp said. "They took him very literally in this regard. Unfortunately, they have indirectly left dozens of frogs, turtles and fish without homes."
Hemp said the men were in possession of a strainer, shovels, Twinkies, buckets, mops and a sum pump. All three men wore "Make America Great Again" caps and smelled of lake water, he said.
The men agreed to speak to The Albany Smudge after determining it was not part of the mainstream media.
"The mainstream media, you see, is full of Libtards and liars," Moffett said. "We was trying to drain the swamp, but the damn Liberal parks cops stopped us and nobody has a right to do that shit to us because we are real Americans. So we are going go right back there, and we will try to drain it again. We'll make that swamp dry as a peach."
"Drain the damn swamp! Drain the swamp!" Maddman told reporters. "Trump that swamp, too!"
Sanka, sipping on coffee, said the effort was more than symbolic.
"We are draining the swamp because we don't know just how many corrupt politicians could be in there," he said. "We will fish them out one-by-one and drive them to court. My word to God's ears."