South Colonie Mechanic Wants ‘Blow Job’ for Christmas

By Quack Davis

Published December 25th, 2016

Colonie's Stan Pickle wants his wife Sharon to remember that "It's the holiday season...
With the whoop-de-do and hickory dock... And don't forget... to suck on his...

COLONIE — Stan Pickle knows his Christmas wish list is crass.

And he doesn’t care.

“I want to get my candy cane sucked for Christmas,” Pickle, 54, told a Smudge reporter while on the checkout line at the Whole Foods supermarket in Colonie.

Pickle, who is married, said his wife, Sharon, has not given him oral sex since 2009.

“I mean, come on,” Pickle said.  “I’m a good guy. I’m a taxpayer.  What’s wrong with a little fun?”

Pickle then paused for a moment, noticing as a middle-aged woman behind him closed her jacket to keep him from leering at her.

"Lady, I'm here to buy bread, not look at your ta-tas.”

Pickle said that besides a blowjob, he’d also like a subscription to the magazine, Popular Mechanics, a bowling bowl, a few hammers, a 12-pack of Budweiser, and new steel-toed boots for Christmas.

Then, turning serious, Pickle said he’s really “just a regular guy who loves Christmas and oral sex.”

“And this year, I’d just like them both to coincide,” he said. “I mean, I don’t see nothin’ wrong with that. Do you?” 


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