Area Tires of Christmas-Flavored Crap

By Fred Furnace

Published January 8th, 2017

Capitaland residents — fed up with gingerbread and candy cane-flavored food and beverages — have now begun the annual tradition of bringing the leftover Christmas items into the workplace to dump on unsuspecting co-workers.

Offices throughout the region are being inundated with leftover tins of peppermint bark, cutout cookies, Krisp Kringles, candy cane kisses, and gingerbread-flavored everything.

“If I drink one more cup of ‘mint-chocolate sugar-cookie sleigh-ride mocha,’ I’m going to puke all over myself,” said Mary Berg, an administrative assistant in Albany referring to the holiday-flavored Keurig jumbo pack supplied by her company’s office manager.  “At first, the Christmas coffee flavors were kind of fun and interesting. But after a few weeks, they just made me want to hurt someone.”

Jerry Tinney of Colonie said his wife, Jinny, “went way overboard on the peppermint bark this year,” picking up about 50 tins from Trader Joe’s “because they seemed like a really great deal at the time.” Tinney added the couple gave away as many tins as they could, but still have more than a dozen sitting on their dining room table.

“I warned Jinny not to buy so much peppermint bark, but did she listen to me? Noooo,” Jerry said.

Like most area husbands, Tinney has been forced to bring the sweet stuff into work because his wife “can no longer look at it.”

“Jerry’s a good guy,” said Mike Trout, who works with Tinny at a Wolf Road design firm. “But if he puts one more tin of peppermint bark in the break room, I’m gonna punch him in the face.”

Experts believe the deluge will last another one-to-two weeks, but should gradually die off just prior to Super Bowl Sunday.


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