Troy to Form ‘Sister City’ Alliance with Detroit
By Cecily Bapp
Published January 22nd, 2017
TROY — Prompted by the appearance of an enormous sinkhole in downtown Motor City, Troy Mayor Patrick Madden has reached out to city officials in Detroit with the aim of forming a Sister City Alliance.
“‘Rebuild our infrastructure’ has become a kind of Republican buzzword. Or words. Whatever,” said Madden. “In Troy and in Detroit, the infrastructure is falling apart, literally, beneath our collective feet. Add to that the crime rate, shitty schools, and the depressing downtrodden air of defeat and it’s clear that these two cities are meant to be partners. It’s a match made in heaven.”
The Sister City Alliance will seek to align and benefit the two cities economically, culturally and diplomatically. As both areas are sorely lacking economically, socially and diplomatically, it’s not entirely clear how this would work, but considering the state of both municipalities, officials say the only way is up.
It’s unclear whether Detroit will agree to ally itself with a similar, but more tiny and crappier city. Clearly, the Collar City is no Motor City. And not only is Troy much smaller, no one here has any significant musical talent.
But while diminutive in comparison to Detroit stats, little ‘ole Troy boasts the highest crime rate in the Capital Region — including murder, rape, robbery and aggravated assault.
“We have fewer crimes, for sure,” said Troy City strategist David Robert Jones. “It’s tough when you’re being compared to a crime powerhouse like Detroit. But I’d stack Troy up against Detroit in terms of thuggery, depraved indifference and the very nature of our criminals. The commonalities are clear. My wish is that the two cities can share strategies about fighting crime and about fixing the pipes.”