A Smudge Fake Business Analysis
Citing Lack of Interest, Airbnb Rejects Cohoes
By Cecily Bapp
Published January 29th, 2017
One of a number of homes recently rejected as a potential rental property by Airbnb, Casa Runnels sits along
the banks of the Hudson in Cohoes.
COHOES — Looking forward to your summer vacation? Planning to spend it in the Capital District?
Neither is anyone else, according to Airbnb, the popular and controversial rental goliath that offers travelers an alternative to traditional hotels by enabling homeowners to rent out their very own comfy houses.
Just not in Cohoes. Sadly, folks here can’t give their places away.
“I’m offering a three bedroom, one bath shack right on the river in Cohoes. Free! All I’m asking is that you feed Granny twice a day and let out the cats. Oh, and my Rottie. He has to eat too, but just once a day,” said Crystal Runnels.
The proud Cohoes homeowner decided to give Airbnb a go, offering her three bedroom, one bath home on the international website, with photos featuring all of Casa Runnels’ amenities, including cable TV, Wi-Fi, and access to a shared meth-cooking facility.
But Runnel’s offer failed to attract a single taker.
“I don’t get it,” she said. “My place is within walking distance to the Cohoes Senior Center. There’s a pool table there, sometimes free coffee, too.”
Trey ‘Dumpy’ Muldoon, spokesperson for Airbnb, said the complete lack of interest in Runnel’s home has forced the company to reject the Capital Region ‘burg as a getaway destination.
“Airbnb is committed to providing non-discriminating, open, personal yet inclusive service to each and every one of our diverse customers,” said Muldoon. “By providing our service to each and every human being on Earth, we make the world a better place. And, we allow everyone on earth — everyone — to make a buck by renting out their extra rooms by way of our website. But we had to draw the line at Cohoes.
“The pictures and description of the town, well, there was no way to put a positive spin on that shit,” Muldoon added. “It’s near nothing, and kind of deserted looking in a dystopian future world kind of way.
“We find that Appalachia is presenting some of the very same challenges to our sales team.”