Skies Darken for Ex-Capital Region Weatherman
By Kermit Mustafa
Published February 5th, 2017
Aisle three of the Lansingburgh Food Carnival hours after a local weatherman ran amok.
TROY — A former local TV weatherman was charged Saturday by police for stealing a 15-pound ham from a Lansingburgh grocery store.
Glen Dimple, who was recently fired from his last meteorologist job for making fart noises during a broadcast, was charged with petit larceny, resisting arrest and possession of a meth pipe after trying to bolt from the Lansinburgh Food Carnival with a Berkshire Smoked Ham.
“He was running down the frozen food aisle carrying the ham like it was a goddamn football,” said Potsie Weber, a deli worker at the store. “He actually was stiff-arming children and their mothers. He looked like he was doing an imitation of the Heisman Trophy.”
Dimple was arraigned and remanded to the Rensselaer County Jail on $2,500 bail. His friends, meanwhile, expressed concern the weatherman’s life is spinning out of a control like a Midwest funnel cloud.
“Glen’s star, as we all know, was rising in the local TV weatherman world,” said Tom Bosley, a Troy hardware store owner who often sold Gorilla Tape and compression springs to Dimple. “His astounding success with lake-effect snow models in Syracuse had stations throughout the northeast wanting him on their team.”
Dimple landed in Albany in early January after being hired by local NBC affiliate WNYT. He was then hired away soon after by their local CBS competitor after completely blowing a forecast regarding an overnight ice storm that never happened despite his prediction to the contrary.
Dimple’s fate, however, then took a cruel turn when he was terminated for using the popular flatulence app, Tap and Fart, to make crude fart noises during a report about “breezy weather.” Since his firing, friends said Dimple has been spending money like Johnny Depp — despite having enormous difficulty finding work.
“He’s essentially destitute now,” said Suzi Quatro, a local musician who met Dimple at the now-defunct Arnold’s Drive-In just outside Watervliet. “There’s no question; Glen’s hit rock bottom. This guy had a gift. No one could predict lake-effect snow like Glen Dimple. But now, sadly, he’s just a shell of the weatherman he once was.”