Valentine’s Day Specials and Scores Around the Capital Region

By Leslie Carp

Published February 12th, 2016

ALBANY — Looking for a fun way to impress your Valentine, or switch things up this year? The Smudge has compiled a list of the hottest Valentine’s Day deals for singles, couples and families in the Capital Region.

Bethlehem MILFs Club is hosting a mixer at Crunchy Crystals Yoga Studio for moderately-to-extraordinarily wealthy white men 6 feet or taller who are looking to mingle with Bethlehem MILFs. Proof of assets may be required prior to entry.

Sirro’s in North Albany will be featuring an all-new dancer ensemble, the “Capital District Teenage C-Section Survivors.”

The derelict motel on Route 7 in Hoosick Falls invites the general public for a Narcan training session. Sushi and shrimp cocktail will be provided.

Farfel’s Falafel in Colonie has a dinner special for Valentine’s Day diners, featuring a heart-shaped falafel on a bed of farfel. No goyim, please.

The Italian-American Community Center in Guilderland is offering a $1,000 cash prize to anyone who can hold five pounds of spaghetti and meatballs and a 750 mL bottle of Chianti down for longer than 10 minutes. Children are encouraged to participate.

Market Feast in Latham will be hosting a special cooking class for couples featuring nontraditional meats and global cuisine such as bosintang (Korean dog meat soup) and Oaxacan stewed iguana.

The Puck brewpub in Troy will allow diners to upgrade their burgers to “Make It Wilford Brimley Style” for free.

The Rensselaer County Gun Nuts Club is hosting “Helmet-Free Snowmobile Day” at Grafton Lakes State Park to honor veterans who sacrificed their lives for their country. Admission is $5 for adults, and children under 6 get in free.

Richard Nixon’s Angry Bialys in Troy will be making “broken heart” bagels and bialys using handcrafted glass shards to promote awareness of lonely single people.

Rivers Casino and Resort will temporarily lift its ban on indoor smoking and place mirrors on every tabletop, allowing gamblers to re-enact romantic films of the 1980s.

Track-Marks Betting (TMB) has a 2-for-1 special on well tequila at their Cohoes, Green Island and Menands branches.