Trump Spin Machine Claims Troy is 'Nicest Place on Earth’

By Fred Furnace

Published March 26th, 2017

TROY — The Trump administration is once again under fire for spreading misleading information to the public, claiming the City of Troy is “really nice, really safe, and really clean.”

Trump spokesman Sean Spicer made the shocking claims Saturday after spending the morning meeting with Rensselaer County Republicans.

In his address to reporters, Spicer said the president views Troy as “a fabulous city with wonderful infrastructure and low crime.” 

“The president thinks he may have once saw a headline naming Troy a ‘Top Ten’ city in the country in which to live,” Spicer said. “That’s all the facts we need. If the president thinks he once saw a headline somewhere, then we can repeat it as gospel over and over.”

Spicer may have been referring to the satirical, make-believe headline appearing in an early edition of the Smudge, in which Troy was mistakenly added to Forbes’ list of “Top Places to Live in America” after hackers infiltrated its databases.

“Maybe, I didn’t ask,” Spicer said. “But either way, it’s totally true. And if those were alternative facts, then so be it.”

Critics, however, are condemning the administration’s pronouncements about Troy as “damn lies,” noting the city is “filthy,” “violent,” and “objectively awful.”

“Just another example of the Trump administration spreading lies to the American people,” said Randy Meecham, spokesman for the Saratoga County Center for Non-Lying Government. “Sure, there may be a decent restaurant someplace along the river, but otherwise, Troy is a war zone.”

“The president shouldn’t be able to get away with spreading lies like this,” said distraught Bethlehem resident Marian Marcus-Medley, a self-described “yoga nut” and stay-at-home mom. “I have spent my entire adult life trying to avoid Troy. I hope he rots in hell for this.”

Despite the criticism, Spicer remained undeterred in his pronouncements.

“We have our alternative facts,” he said, “and those facts say Troy is just great."


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