Police Blotter: Springtime ‘Twitterpation’ Right on Schedule

By Leslie Carp

Published April 2nd, 2017

19-year-old Will Weedon of Troy was arrested Wednesday on
suspicion of fedora tipping.

Police departments throughout the Capital Region have reported a notable increase in incidents of spring fever and public twitterpation amid the usual riffraff. Here’s a roundup of recent police action:

Cohoes Police Department:

Vandalism: Jerry Hattrick, 84, was issued a ticket at 9:43 a.m., March 30, after becoming overly excited to see the first crocus of the season and ripping the flowers out of a city garden plot.

Dress code violation: Laura Junior, 31, was ticketed at 1:30 p.m., March 28, for wearing jeans while walking on Remsen Street. Cohoes enforces a strict dress code requiring that all residents wear sweatpants or pajama pants during daytime hours.

Sweatpantsing: Murph Topiary, 22, was arrested at 9:21 a.m., April 1, for pulling down another man’s sweatpants at the intersection of Bridge Avenue and Saratoga Street.

Troy Police Department:

Sexual harassment: Kandi Marmot, 47, was arrested at 2:18 p.m., March 28, while trying to lure grown men into her vehicle with Easter candy in the Big Lots parking lot.

Fedora tipping: Will Weedon, 19, was arrested at 5:10 p.m., March 29, after he posted footage on Reddit of him knocking fedoras off of several RPI students on the college campus and calling them “cucks.”

Leprechaun mischief: Hector Ramirez, 29, was arrested at 10:51 p.m., March 30, for public drunkenness. He has not stopped wearing his “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” t-shirt since the beginning of March.

Bethlehem Police Department:

Gymtimidation: Morris Ploudly, 48, was arrested at 11:01 a.m., March 28, for excessive grunting at Planet Fitness and refusing to leave when asked.

Poisoning: Zeborah Rohan, 37, was arrested at 2:17 p.m., March 29, when undercover police caught her transplanting non-organic, GMO-containing daffodils to her garden.

Aggravated assault upon wedding etiquette: Frances Marva, 61, was arrested at 4:01 p.m., April 1, after arriving at her son and daughter-in-law’s wedding wearing a white floor-length gown.


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