Local Nonprofit Aims to Discourage Men from Using the Term 'Man-Cave'
Published April 16th, 2016
CLIFTON PARK— Call it the musty, poorly ventilated room in your basement where you watch golf and masturbate. Just don't call it your ‘man cave.’
That's the mission statement of a new Saratoga County nonprofit launching in May.
The Clifton Park-based Brighter Tomorrows will work with sponsors on a wide range of community events, including change and bottle drives, 5K walkathons and peer-to-peer online fundraisers, with 100 percent of the money raised going toward “abolishing this threadbare cliché from the English language.”
“Prevention is key,” said 46-year-old founder Ronald Milsap. “But if we can persuade even one man to stop calling his finished basement a 'man cave,' then all of this will have been worth it.”
Man Caves, according to Urban Dictionary, are “rooms specifically reserved for a man to be in a solitary condition, or with other men, away from the rest of the household, in order to work, play or involve himself in certain hobbies and activities without interruption.”
“What was once a self-consciously ironic term now signals an underlying psycho-sexual issue men have with the women in their lives,” Milsap said. “Why else would they drop 20-grand building a room next to their sump pumps, specifically designed to entertain other men, when they can simply visit the closest Turkish bathhouse or one of the many sordid rest areas that have cropped up along our Interstate system?”
Milsap said Brighter Tomorrows will also provide cost-effective alternatives for men who still feel the impulse to cordon themselves off from women but do not identify as closeted homosexuals.
“For these individuals, we suggest that instead of getting quietly drunk alone in a locked room in your cellar, sitting on an ill-conceived Clinton-era futon you once called 'dope,' you go out into the garage, pick up a hammer and spend a few hours fixing something like a real man.”
Aside from preventive measures, Brighter Tomorrows also plans to organize interventions for men who can't stop casually mentioning their man caves to other people whenever there's a big game on television.
“In order to help people break this habit, we plan to issue a simple challenge,” said Milsap. “We'll ask them to stand in front a mirror, and, without sounding like a total douche, try to say 'Hey guys, come over later and we can chill and drink beer in my man cave.' When they realize it's literally impossible, well, that's when the real work begins.”