Hubby Writes Trump Seeking "Buffer Zone" from Wife at Movies

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published April 23rd, 2017

GUILDERLAND — A long-married Slingerlands man has asked President Trump to sign an executive order granting him a one-seat buffer zone from his wife at Crossgates cinema so he could "watch movies in Goddamn peace, for once."

Dean Boxer, 47, wrote to the White House saying his wife, Julie, makes it impossible to enjoy movies because she constantly asks him questions and attempts to hold his hand.

"She keeps trying to do that 'lovey-dovey' thing, Mr. President,” Boxer wrote. "It's sickening. C'mon man, make my marriage great again."

Boxer said he left an empty seat between himself and his wife when they saw The Fate Of The Furious at Crossgates mall last weekend. But his wife immediately objected.

"You have to understand that we have been married for 22 years," Boxer said. "Sitting one seat apart should not be that big of a deal. It's not like it's our first date. You're a man of the world, Mr. President, and I voted for you. Now vote for me."

Julie Boxer said it was "kinda nice" to sit next to her husband.

"Dean embarrassed me," the wife said. "He embarrassed us."

But, the wife said her humiliation had less to do with the would-be buffer zone, and more with being forced to watch a Vin Diesel action movie.

"I hate that guy," she said. "But I bet he holds his wife's hand at the movies."


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