Colonie Woman Now Declares Herself a '6'

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published April 30th, 2016

Chip Chapps with ex-girlfriend and self-decribed '6', Jennifer Zoo.

ALBANY — A decent-looking Colonie woman who used to be attainable by average-looking men has dropped 13 pounds, changed her hair and now claims she is "way out of their league."

Friends of Jennifer Zoo, 24, tell The Albany Smudge the former Average Jane is now “brimming with a newfound confidence and is, officially, ‘all that.’"

"Men might not have noticed 'who's who in the zoo’ before, but they certainly do now. It's a Jennifer Zoo," said Eunice Peterson, 27, who’s an "8" herself.

"Jenny Z is the place to be," said Guy Traffic of Troy. "She rose from a '4' to a '6.' She's really got it going on. I have no shot with her at all now."

Chip Chapps, a paunchy and bespectacled assistant with Geek Squad at BestBuy in Crossgates Mall, said he dumped Zoo last year because he did not believe she was good looking enough for him.

The new Jenny passes muster, he said.

"I might have to rethink that decision," Chapps said. "The 'Chip & Jenny Show' might get renewed for another season after all."

Men who were shown a photo of the new Jenny liked what they saw.

"I'd hit that," said Jeff Dude, 33, of Colonie.

"Yeah, me too," added his father, Jeff Dude Sr.

"I'll show her a freaking zoo," said Marvin Frosting, a friend of the Dude family.

All three men are unemployed.

Zoo is pleased with the direction of her looks, but declined further comment, saying she didn’t want to come off “like some stuck-up bitch.”


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