Mechanicville Woman: Only ‘Us New Yorkers’ Know How to Drive
By Fred Furnace
Published April 30th, 2016
MECHANICVILLE — A recent trip to visit relatives led a Mechanicville woman to conclude “only New Yorkers” are intelligent enough to drive automobiles correctly.
Macy North, a 26-year-old waitress, said she came to this conclusion while driving to Charlottesville, Va., to visit a relative who teaches Biomedical Engineering at the University of Virginia.
“People down there are too stupid to drive,” said North, a 2013 graduate of Saratoga County’s BOCES program in culinary arts.
North said she became “frustrated to the point of wanting to commit violence” after encountering multiple "slow-driving retards hogging the left lane” on I-81.
“The left lane is for driving fast, and the right lane is for grandmas and sissies,” said the lavender-haired North. “It's a simple concept, but only us New Yorkers seem to understand it.”
North said she couldn’t wait to get back home to Mechanicville and away from “all the dipshits in other states who don’t know how to drive.”
“I’m a New Yorker, and I’m used to a fast-paced lifestyle,” she said. “Yes, we can be kinda neurotic and are sometimes impatient with others, but that’s only because us New Yorkers are better than everyone else.
“And the pizza down there – don’t even get me started,” North added. “That’s another thing that only us New Yorkers seem to know how to do correctly.”
Renowned SUNY Cobleskill Behavioral Psychologist M. Normal Bunny said the sentiment expressed by North is fairly common, and actually holds true regardless of a person’s place of origin.
“No matter where someone is from, they tend to believe that they are the only people on Earth who know how to drive or eat food correctly,” Bunny said. “Even hicks from upstate New York.”