Leslie Carp was born in a Finger Lakes fish hatchery. The only daughter of a Grass Carp father and a Mud Carp mother, she spent her formative years in the war-torn semi-autonomous region of South Colonie.

Upon receiving the Vertical Scale Disease vaccine in 2004, Leslie gained the ability to traverse between the world of the living and the spirit world. She collaborated with fellow shamans and medicine women in New Paltz, Woodstock, and Ithaca on a series of visionary novels. Her magnum opus, "Communing with the Crystalline Space Elves," was critically acclaimed by several new age magazines.

Leslie currently resides in a community pond in Brunswick, where she teaches smallmouth bass and bluegill on how to distinguish funny Internet memes from unfunny political propaganda.

Leslie's hobbies include eating. Her favorite foods are yellow sweet corn, white sweet corn, and multicolor sweet corn. She has been pregnant for over 13 years and does not plan on laying eggs any time soon.


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Troy Mom Immediately Regrets Naming Daughter ‘Covfefe’

By Leslie Carp

Published June, 4th 2017

TROY — A Troy mom who named her firstborn child “Covfefe” is having some serious second thoughts about the permanency of her daughter’s name.

Candace Candles, 28, named her newborn daughter after President Trump’s Twitter spelling error turned viral meme.

The tweet, posted after midnight, appeared to be the result of hitting “Tweet” prematurely, reading: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” Since the tweet’s brief existence on the Twittersphere, “covfefe” has been made into hundreds of thousands of bad puns, memes, and forum posts on Babycenter.com.

Candles and the father of her child, Richard Dick, 27, are both political reporters and active Snapchat users who are intimately familiar with the ephemerality of the 24-hour news cycle. Still, family and friends were surprised by the name choice.

“Candace and Richard love dog memes and shit, but we never thought they would take it this far,” said a friend of the couple who wished to remain anonymous. “They’ve literally named their first born after something Donald Trump wrote on Twitter. This is almost as dumb as their decision to have a crotchfruit.”

Covfefe Candles-Dick is one of nearly 4,000 American babies born last week who share the same name. Just across the river in Albany, there were six babies named Covfefe, and several more with creatively spelled variations of the name, including Covfifi, Cofefe, and Ciophephe.

In fact, Covfefe now ranks as the third most popular baby name of 2017, falling just behind “Snowflake” and “Pepe.”

“Covfefe is less than a week old and I already want to change her name,” said Candles. “She’s going to be in pre-K with 20 other Covfefes. It’s going to be ‘Ashley’ all over again.”

Candles has since admitted she was high on morphine in the delivery room when she decided to name her daughter, Covfefe — instead of the originally planned name, Uranus.

“It wasn’t the smartest decision, but I’m going to contact a lawyer as soon as my obstetric fistula heals to get her name changed legally,” said Candles. “Uranus is a classic name that has great staying power. Covfefe is a Twitter post that got deleted after five hours and 46 minutes on the Internet.”