Curtis Riboflavin

Curtis comes to the Smudge with 30 years of newsroom experience, a deeply serious mind and a craving for knowledge.

A native of Lethbridge, Alberta in Canada, Curtis refers to himself as a “dogged crusader for the truth” and "the ace" of the Smudge staff. He covers New York’s statehouse, Wall Street and important fish news for the Smudge. In 1993, Curtis was voted The Most Smug News Reporter in West Virginia, a noteworthy accomplishment for someone who only flew over the state once as a child.

The son of notorious Canadian food critic Julius Riboflavin and his wife, supermodel Alexia Bargain, Curtis graduated from Oxford University in England with a degree in intelligence and the Harvard Law School, where he specialized in botany law.

Curtis began his journalism career at The Edmonton Duckling, an acclaimed finance newspaper in Canada and has worked for several successful daily newspapers in upstate New York, including The Utica Cobbler.

Curtis considers himself one the smartest men in North America. In his spare time he enjoys writing law books, dining at fine establishments, listening to classical music and reading about sturgeon.

Curtis lives in Loudonville with his wife, the poet Rebecca Bacitracin, and their two children, Julia and Kanye.

STORY LIST

• Colonie Woman Now Declares Herself a '6'
• Hubby Writes Trump Seeking "Buffer Zone" from Wife at Movies
• Delmar Man Boycotts Dunkin Donuts Until His Favorite Worker Returns
• Report: Snobs Outnumber Normal People in Bethlehem
• Truck Driver Makes it to Dunkin' Donuts Restroom Just in Time
• Albany Man’s New Facebook Profile Photo Wowing Viewers
• Trump Tweets About Closure of Latham’s Chicago-Style Pizza Chain
• Siena Prof Says Election Predictions Will Die Down After Race Ends
• Bizarre Boy to Trick-or-Treat as Local Assemblyman Phil Steck
• Clown College Poll: Nobody 'Gives a Shit' about Congressional Race 
• Busted Cuomo Confidants Eyed for Gov’s ‘Prison Team'
• Colin Kaepernick Takes 'Anti-American' Stance to Albany
• Colonie Man Recognizes Latham Man in Cape Cod
• Albany Smudge Joins Media Conspiracy Against Trump
• Slingerlands Man Lets Every Area Burglar Know He’s on Vacation
• RPI Professor Completes Experiment with Homosexuality
• Cuomo Hot on 'Game of Thrones' Wildfire Beneath Capitol
• Source: Hillary ‘Giddy’ Over Taking Guns from Rensselaer County
• RPI Professor Completes Experiment with Homosexuality
• Colonie Towers to Be Renamed ‘Old People Apartment Complex’
• Voorheesville Husband Blamed for May Cold Spell
• Trump Rally Results In Walmart Closures, Drop in Drunk-Disturbance Crimes
• Area Homes Littered with Half-Eaten Chocolate Bunny Carcasses
• TSA Agent 'OK' After Being Exposed To Menands Man's Sneaker
• Young Republican, 10, Concerned About Future of GOP
• Guilderland ‘Catch’ Back on Dating Market
• Prosecutor Blows Off Work To Watch SVU Marathon
• Wayward Johnny Manziel Spotted in Cohoes Bar
• For Preet's Sake, No! Feds To Indict Every Last NYS Pol
• Trump Wants to Turn Adirondacks Into Massive Golf Course
• Storm to Drop Knowledge on Capital Region
• ‘Old Man Winter’ To Speak At Albany Conference
• Smudge Investigation Discovers Hidden Scofflaw Sanctuary in Colonie
• Albany Lawyer Wows Screening Panel with Fancy Vocabulary
• Judge Rules Schaghticoke Man’s ‘Terrorist Hunting Permit’ Invalid
• Mayor: Toothbrush found in Corinth
• ‘Utopian Society’ Legislation Aims to Create ‘Classless’ Society
• Man Pretends To Like Apple-Picking to Please Wife
• Andrew Cuomo Trying To ‘Friend’ Federal Prosecutor on Facebook
• Large Rural County Discovered West of Albany
• Man Fakes Friendship with NFL Star and Former Local Standout Dion Lewis
• Feds probing ‘corrupt’ Fantasy Football commish
• Latham, Menands to Secede from Colonie
• Albany Clerk Refuses to Issue License to 'Gay' Dog
• Feds Warns Region to be Wary of Area Cowboy Fans
• DMV Workers Fed Up With Snotty, Stuck-Up Supervisor
• Source: ‘Minions’ Based On Cuomo Administration
• ‘Activist’ Judge Wants Immediate End to Rightful Convictions
• Halfmoon Man Lost in Patient Portal
• Activists call  ‘Great Escape’ offensive, demand theme park change name
• Troops Move Into Spindle City As Ongoing Colonie Feud Spills Into Cohoes
• Anti-Gun Group Aims to ‘Blow’ Away Firearms
• UAlbany Students Say Noise From Nearby Medical Offices Harming Quality of Life
• Bill would allow pols conjugal visits with interns
• Rensselaer men — once again — voted area's best looking
• Probe: Skelos Used Senate Staff, Resources to Find Personality
• Stewart’s Ice Cream Called ‘Super’
• Ham Sandwich indicted in Schenectady
• Schenectady to Launch Anti-Utica Campaign
• Nut wants to bring crocodiles to upstate NY
• Republican Spotted Enjoying Himself on Lark Street
• Cuomo: Lawmakers must be followed home
• Mob threatens to leave New York
• Budget geekery begins
• Real McCoy? Gov. eyes ‘Law & Order’ actor for high court
• Scientist fears Albany ‘Egg’ may crack
• Mall St. Nick Says He’s No Bad Santa
• EXCLUSIVE: NY sells 'Bills' to Bon Jovi
• Fans of Satan Mad as Hell at Devils:The Albany Smudge
• Source: Schenectady man smitten
• Cuomo: You’ll ‘Love’ new agency
• ISIS mulls Spa' theme restaurant
• Source: Dutch want to smoke NY's Amsterdam off map

Colonie Woman Now Declares Herself a '6'

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published April 30th, 2016

ALBANY — A decent-looking Colonie woman who used to be attainable by average-looking men has dropped 13 pounds, changed her hair and now claims she is "way out of their league."

Friends of Jennifer Zoo, 24, tell The Albany Smudge the former Average Jane is now “brimming with a newfound confidence and is, officially, ‘all that.’"

"Men might not have noticed 'who's who in the zoo’ before, but they certainly do now. It's a Jennifer Zoo," said Eunice Peterson, 27, who’s an "8" herself.

"Jenny Z is the place to be," said Guy Traffic of Troy. "She rose from a '4' to a '6.' She's really got it going on. I have no shot with her at all now."

Chip Chapps, a paunchy and bespectacled assistant with Geek Squad at BestBuy in Crossgates Mall, said he dumped Zoo last year because he did not believe she was good looking enough for him.

The new Jenny passes muster, he said.

"I might have to rethink that decision," Chapps said. "The 'Chip & Jenny Show' might get renewed for another season after all."

Men who were shown a photo of the new Jenny liked what they saw.

"I'd hit that," said Jeff Dude, 33, of Colonie.

"Yeah, me too," added his father, Jeff Dude Sr.

"I'll show her a freaking zoo," said Marvin Frosting, a friend of the Dude family.

All three men are unemployed.

Zoo is pleased with the direction of her looks, but declined further comment, saying she didn’t want to come off “like some stuck-up bitch.”