Scott has always been the adventurous type. As a small child growing up in Cohoes, he was often spotted eating wild mushrooms along the roadside.

He first became interested in the written word at age 13, after reading an Anne Landers article that contained the breathtakingly beautiful poem, “What is a fireman?”

His father, Larry Salad, sang baritone for the well-known barber-shop quartet, The Dapper Pappys, until a Molotov cocktail incident at a local car dealership left his signature warble damaged beyond repair. Since then, Scott has lived a vengeful life, swearing a blood oath to his father that he would one day catch — and perhaps kill — the miscreant who so boldly crossed the Salad name.

Though he has yet to read his bio, Salad considers fellow Smudge reporter, Pug Ransom, his BFF.


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Bachelor From Batchellerville Books Room At Bachelor Mansion

By Scott Salad

Published June 11th, 2017

SARATOGA SPRINGS — A single man who’s lived his whole life in the shadow of the Batchellerville Bridge on Great Sacandaga Lake will be spending a long weekend this summer at a popular hotel in Saratoga Springs — much to the delight of fans of the word “ironic.”

Michael Jan-Vincent, a 52-year-old woodworker and lifelong resident of the southern Adirondack town, Batchellerville, ignited a firestorm on social media Friday after he reserved the French-inspired Queen Maria Pia room at the Bachelor Mansion.

“How ironic is this?” Tobias McGuire of Cobleskill wrote on Facebook. “That the stars would align and a bachelor from Batchellerville would be bachelor-ing at the Bachelor Mansion? This level of irony doesn't happen every day, you know? Surely this is cause for celebration.”

“It's a fantastic coincidence, for sure, but is it technically ironic?” Fritz Discus of Greenfield Center asked on Twitter. “I'm not sure. Perhaps someone with some literary clout will weigh in on this.”

Local English teachers and world-renowned thespians were quick to respond to the challenge.

“When we use a word to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning, we are being ironic,” said Denise Dumpish, an English teacher at Scotia-Glenville High School. “Sure, this is a great example of alliteration and serendipity, but irony? I don't think so.”

Actor Ethan Hawk disagreed.

“Sure, that's the classic definition, but irony can also mean coincidental or unexpected, like, if I said 'It was ironic that I played a heroin addict in my last movie.'”

For his part, Jan-Vincent — who claims to “know shit about irony”— said he plans to spend most of his time “laying bets and getting laid.”

“I didn't set out to blow anyone's mind with this trip,” he said. “I just want to go to the track, win some scratch and maybe bang a cougar or two.”

Ironically, coincidentally or neither, Cougar-Cade —the annual parade of horned-up 50-to-60-somethings in low-cut skirts who on a daily basis drunkenly stagger from the track to Ciro's Restaurant  — is set to kick off its 11th year on July 21, the very same day Jan-Vincent arrives in the Spa City for his four-night stay.

“If it has anything to do with plowing older broads out on the prowl,” Jan-Vincent told the Smudge, “then yes, I guess I plan to be balls deep in irony this summer.”