SCOTT SALAD

Scott has always been the adventurous type. As a small child growing up in Cohoes, he was often spotted eating wild mushrooms along the roadside.

He first became interested in the written word at age 13, after reading an Anne Landers article that contained the breathtakingly beautiful poem, “What is a fireman?”

His father, Larry Salad, sang baritone for the well-known barber-shop quartet, The Dapper Pappys, until a Molotov cocktail incident at a local car dealership left his signature warble damaged beyond repair. Since then, Scott has lived a vengeful life, swearing a blood oath to his father that he would one day catch — and perhaps kill — the miscreant who so boldly crossed the Salad name.

Though he has yet to read his bio, Salad considers fellow Smudge reporter, Pug Ransom, his BFF.


STORY LIST

• Bachelor From Batchellerville Books Room At Bachelor Mansion
• Trump Fires Troy Fireman
• Five UPS Drivers Missing After Attempting To Find Coeymans
• No, North Colonie, South Colonie Immigrants Aren’t Taking Your Kids’ Part-Time Jobs
• Bethlehem Couple's Decision To Continue Hyphenating Surname Has Area on Edge
• Expedition Discovers West Greenbush, Leader Arrested
• Local TV Weatherman Sacked for Making Fart Noises During Broadcast
• State Worker's 'No Pooping At Work' Streak Comes To An End
• Saratoga Hubby in Doghouse For Not Buying Wife Mercedes For Xmas
• Smudge Takes Hit on Social Media in Wake of ‘Pizzagate’
• Times Union To Run Special ‘SEEN at Crossgates Mall Shooting’ Feature
• Snubbed Bethlehem Mom Starts Support Group
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Family Moving to Bethlehem
• Area Couple Who’ve Not Been “SEEN” May Sue Times Union
• ‘Woodchuck Lives Matter’ Movement Hits Troy Streets
• Saratoga Gala Photographer Blinded by White People
• Smudge Reporter's IQ Drops After Writing ‘Pokemon Go’ Story
• 'Cougar-Cade' Kicks Off Post-Track Party Season in Saratoga
• Mayor Resigns as Menands Votes to Leave Capital District
• Poll: Majority of Troy Residents Believe Mayor Cries Himself To Sleep At Night
• Troy 'Letting it Ride' on Belmont Stakes
• Bethlehem Family Given Cold Shoulder For Encouraging Ice Cream Truck
• Trampled Tulips Mark Drunken End To Tulip Fest
• Tulip Queen Hopeful's Explicit Street Scrubbing Technique Goes Viral
• Expert: Cult discovered on Saratoga Lake
• Clinton Visit Puts Cohoes on the Map, Literally
• Cohoes Prepared for Another Rowdy Dyngus Day
• The Smudge Remembers: Lollipop Park
• Colonie High Transfer Feigns 'Affluenza' To Fit In At Shaker
• Capital Region Uncles Call For Ban On Hoverboards
• Amy Schumer Continues Hot Streak By Publicly Shaming Albany Teen
• Sean Penn's Next Interview? NYS Assembly
• “What Happens In Clifton Park, Stays in Clifton Park” Ad Campaign Scrapped
• Mass Snubbings in Bethlehem Continue in Wake of Latest Home Energy Report
• Man Charged After Eating Peanut Butter Sandwich Near Elementary School
• Bethlehem Mom Shunned After Peanut Incident
• Deadheads Blame Rash of Bad Trips On John Mayer's Face
• Local Couple Interrogated By Nazi-like Pet Rescue Service
• Pizza Rat Moving To Watervliet
• Heart Doc Likens Capital Region Commute To Coronary Artery Disease
• Lily-White Woman Exposed as Subtle Racist During Gaffe with Good Samaritans
• Local Man In Financial Straights After Buying Drinks At SPAC
• Naturally Gifted Fetus Bored, Mother Mulls Early C-Section
• Country Drive-In Closed On Fat Guy’s Cheat Day
• Local Man In Beef With Hooters Girl
• Bethlehem Woman Claims to be Carrying ‘Naturally Gifted’ Fetus
• The Smudge Remembers:
The Old Long John Silvers Restaurant in Latham
• Sad South Colonie Carnival Offers No ‘Amusement’ for Resilient Have-Nots
• SOURCE: Prison Employee Also Smuggled in 'Shawshank Redemption' DVD
• ‘Rescue Dog’ Flap Has Bethlehem Couple In Tight ‘Spot’
• William Kennedy Lands Coveted Internship at Albany Smudge
• Icabod Crane Schools Celebrate 10,000th Snow Day
• The Smudge Remembers
The Plaza Grill: Divorced 40-Somethings Wonder Where To Go Now
• Milton Man Defies Odds, Completes Wife's Grocery List Without Error
• Motorists Maintain B-Lister “Lost Her Shit” In Northway 'Road Rage' Incident
• North Colonie Missionaries to Bring Proper Sanitation to South Colonie
• Trucker Spotted Wasting Time Next To Waste Of Money
• Two States Still Refusing To Read The Smudge
• Cohoes Swallowed By Category-5 Pot Hole
• Local Swingers Misinterpret “Game Night” Invite
• Waitress With Thick Scottish Accent Actually From the Capital Region
• Elderly Malta Woman Still Stuck On Roundabouts
• Area News Anchor Has Trouble Believing People Don't Recognize Her
• ‘Dutch Oven' Incident Highlights Schoharie's Urban Dictionary-inspired Crime Wave
• Spurred by Link to 'Wonderful Life,’ Cohoes Renamed Pottersville
• 'Morning Moon' Confuses Queensbury Man
• Saratoga City Council To Green light ‘Smack A Skidmore Kid’
• Satan Rules! Or not. — Adirondack Teens Flummox Parents

Bachelor From Batchellerville Books Room At Bachelor Mansion

By Scott Salad

Published June 11th, 2017

SARATOGA SPRINGS — A single man who’s lived his whole life in the shadow of the Batchellerville Bridge on Great Sacandaga Lake will be spending a long weekend this summer at a popular hotel in Saratoga Springs — much to the delight of fans of the word “ironic.”

Michael Jan-Vincent, a 52-year-old woodworker and lifelong resident of the southern Adirondack town, Batchellerville, ignited a firestorm on social media Friday after he reserved the French-inspired Queen Maria Pia room at the Bachelor Mansion.

“How ironic is this?” Tobias McGuire of Cobleskill wrote on Facebook. “That the stars would align and a bachelor from Batchellerville would be bachelor-ing at the Bachelor Mansion? This level of irony doesn't happen every day, you know? Surely this is cause for celebration.”

“It's a fantastic coincidence, for sure, but is it technically ironic?” Fritz Discus of Greenfield Center asked on Twitter. “I'm not sure. Perhaps someone with some literary clout will weigh in on this.”

Local English teachers and world-renowned thespians were quick to respond to the challenge.

“When we use a word to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning, we are being ironic,” said Denise Dumpish, an English teacher at Scotia-Glenville High School. “Sure, this is a great example of alliteration and serendipity, but irony? I don't think so.”

Actor Ethan Hawk disagreed.

“Sure, that's the classic definition, but irony can also mean coincidental or unexpected, like, if I said 'It was ironic that I played a heroin addict in my last movie.'”

For his part, Jan-Vincent — who claims to “know shit about irony”— said he plans to spend most of his time “laying bets and getting laid.”

“I didn't set out to blow anyone's mind with this trip,” he said. “I just want to go to the track, win some scratch and maybe bang a cougar or two.”

Ironically, coincidentally or neither, Cougar-Cade —the annual parade of horned-up 50-to-60-somethings in low-cut skirts who on a daily basis drunkenly stagger from the track to Ciro's Restaurant  — is set to kick off its 11th year on July 21, the very same day Jan-Vincent arrives in the Spa City for his four-night stay.

“If it has anything to do with plowing older broads out on the prowl,” Jan-Vincent told the Smudge, “then yes, I guess I plan to be balls deep in irony this summer.”